The Journal Of A Disappointed Man letra

I slip and slide through my life,
trying to get a grip on the rail.
I'm grasping in the dark for a switch
that'll turn on some almighty bright white light and thus, illuminate the way, the path, make everything clear as day. And every breath I take seems to be quickly rolled up behind me and filed away in memory.
Only a particular scent or dose of weather can pinprick the past and even then,
the drawer opens flirtatiously for just a moment.
I have lost touch with everyone I went to school with, everyone in the village where I spent most of my formulative years,
everyone I went to college with,
everyone I ever worked with.
They too, are filed away, often angrily slamming the drawer behind them,
over something I said or something I didn't say.
My lovers cannot be traced.
I know. I've tried.
I've taken trains to their cities and stood on street corners in the miraculous
off-chance that they might wander by.
But each time, I have returned home,
defeated and had to force myself to sleep
so that my heart didn't kill me.
I began my autobiography at 23 years old,
with the intention that I wouldn't live 'til 25.
But I'd done nothing, loved no-one,
said nothing of any great importance by that time.
The journal of a disappointed man.
I took a position at the Natural History Museum
but left after only 3 months due to allergies.
Whilst deluding myself that I could reinforce
the scientist's power of detached analysis
with a poetic intensity,
I would cough up my guts on the glass
that held the giant stuffed man-o-war.
I had a gift of incisive and candid comment,
but I failed to ignite it
when faced with the apple-cheeked Irish girl
who served the tea in the basement canteen.
Drunk most nights, in the Black Swan on Canal St,
I would attempt to put my own complicated nature
under the microscope of a beer glass.
I walked home alone, opening the air with bolshy,
slurred dictums against religion,
ethics, love and life itself.
Lonely, penniless, paralysed by the guilt
of never having told my father I loved him,
I wander hospital corridors, posing as a visitor.
I have wept, enjoyed, struggled and overcome
but I remain disappointed.

Piano Magic - Letras

• (Music Won't Save You From Anything But) Silence
• A Book I Should Not Read
• A Fond Farewell
• A Return To The Sea
• A Trick Of The Sea
• Already Ghosts
• Amongst The Books, An Angel
• Angel Pie
• Artist's Rifles
• Bad Patient
• Certainty
• Cities & Factories
• Comets
• Crown Estate
• Crown Of The Lost
• Dark Ages
• Dark Horses
• Dark Secrets Look for Light
• Deleted Scenes
• Disaffected
• Echoes On Ice
• England's Always Better (As You're Pulling Away)
• Exit
• Halfway Through
• Halloween Boat
• Help Me Warm This Frozen Heart
• I Am the Sub-Librarian
• I am the teacher´s son
• I Came To Your Party Dressed As a Shadow
• I Have Moved Into The Shadow
• I Must Leave London
• Incurable
• It's The Same Dream That Lasts All Night
• Jacknifed
• Lights Come On At 3
• Love & Music
• Luxembourg Gardens
• March Of The Atheists
• Modern Jupiter
• Night Of The Hunter
• No Closure
• Non-Fiction
• Not Fair
• On Edge
• Part Monster
• Password
• Postal
• Recovery Position
• Saint Marie
• Saints Preserve Us
• Shot Through The Fog
• Sketch For Joanne
• Snow Drums
• Snowfall Soon
• Soldier Song
• Speed The Road Rush The Lights
• Stations
• The Biggest Lie
• The Blue Hour
• The Canadian Brought Us Snow
• The Drowning Of St Christopher
• The End Of The Dark, Tired Year
• The Faint Horizon
• The Fun Of The Century
• The Index
• The Journal Of A Disappointed Man
• The King Cannot Be Found
• The Last Engineer
• The Nightmare Goes On
• The Nostalgist
• The Season Is Long
• The Sharpest Knife In The Drawer
• The Tollbooth Martyrs
• The Unwritten Law
• Theory Of Ghosts
• There's No Need For Us To Be Alone
• This Heart Machinery
• To Be Swished / Dream Of The UPS Driver
• Vacancies
• When I'm Done, This Night Will Fear Me
• Wintersport / Cross-Country
• Wrong French
• You And John Are Birds
• You Can Hear The Room
• You Can Never Get Lost
• You Never Loved This City
• Your Ghost